its not entirely that surprising to me that its all i've been thinking about since read it last night.
when i read it, my brother was beside me.. and i started feeling uncomfortable
only becuz i was tearing. i didnt want to seem like there was anything wrong
and i guess there wasnt. it was just unexpected and deep.
although i shed tears. i enjoyed it. and i understood.
i was no longer guessing, or confused. its clear now
and that to me is fine..

each tear that dropped that night,
to me.. each had a meaning.
one - for happiness
two - for shock
three - reminiscing
four - sadness < both good and bad i guess
and yeah.
its still somewhat hard to explain.

im relieved to hear that this someone is being honest
and apologizing. maybe something i should of done more of in the past.
maybe if i did more, things would still be the exact same.
but everything happens for a reason i suppose, i believe.
nothing was your fault. never say that.
and honestly, ateh; like i said in a letter i wrote to you.
i will always love you, and you will always be my
big sister, my Hope of my Life, my saviour.
the person i looked up to the most in life.
the person i trusted so strongly, with my life, and still do!
i will never give up. becuz this is going to last.
i want this to last, i need it to last.
whatever has happened, happened.
and im still willing to try my best at going back to being as close as we were.
and if thats not meant to be. we'll make it better this time<3

im not sure if you ever really, really understood how much you mean to me.
how much i depend on you, admire and Need you.
im telling you now!
people we know, have always seen us as super close.
i've heard from them for myself.
and our past.. will always be there.
but its not stopping me from anything.
like i said, you will always be my ateh/hope.
and i will always be your babysister.
~ youngin'